a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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