Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
