I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
