It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize