You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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