I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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