I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
