someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
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I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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