I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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