Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(951): View more from California

As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it

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(907): View more from Alaska

How are you feeling today?

(330): View more from Ohio

i could've thrown up on command at any point today...

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(925): View more from California

I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??

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(850): View more from Florida

And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers

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(904): View more from Florida

whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?

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(606): View more from Kentucky

Does the room smell any better?

(859): View more from Kentucky

Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.

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(256): View more from Alabama

I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.

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