If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize