i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize