around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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