11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
