The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
