like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
