He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
