saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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