I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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