I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Randomize
