apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
