I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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