Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
