Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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