A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize