your room smells of hookers.
And success
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
