you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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