You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
His nipple licking is glorious
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