But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
