She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
