Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize