Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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