She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize