I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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