She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
