I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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