If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
