just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
