I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
