i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
