He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
My life is pants optional.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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