So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
