OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize