Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
