3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I think i got beer on your cat.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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