My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
