1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
