They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
