Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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