he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
