you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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