And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
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Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
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I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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