He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Randomize
