Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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