Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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