Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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