yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
