i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
