i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
