and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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