thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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